Humor

SMALL TOWN POLICE DEPT GETS NUCLEAR WARHEADS

 West Middlesex, Pennsylvania, had a population of 863 people in the last census. Still, this small munity on the PA-Ohio border is making a significant mark on the map as the first American town to get an arsenal of nuclear warheads. “We need the extra firepower,” a local police officer who asked to remain anonymous …

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Humor

God Tells Trump To Go To Hell

 Almighty God doesn’t usually give interviews. He lets his actions and “natural disasters” speak. But last night, He reached out to The Lint Screen in an exclusive interview. “I’m a pretty mellow Guy,” God said. “But I’ve had My fill of that horse’s ass Donald Trump. What kind of sadistic bastard orders cops and troops …

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Humor

Jared Put in Charge of Race Relations in America

 Donald Trump is disturbed by some of the images he has seen on cable news. “It looks like some people are upset,” the president, sequestered in his fortified bunker deep beneath the White House, told The Lint Screen. “I don’t know how anyone could be unhappy. I’ve been doing a great job on the pandemic, …

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Humor

Prez Recalls “Tremendous Heartbreak” Of Missed Hole-in-One

 This Memorial Day weekend, as COVID-19 ravages America, and people remember fallen heroes and those who bravely fought for our freedom, President Donald J. Trump grappled with his troubles–– the one that might have been. Trump, who made America great again and has been its great protector during the global pandemic, took a well-earned break …

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Humor

Trump Demands Americans Worship Him This Weekend

 President Donald Trump has been called The Chosen One, and like Moses returning from Mount Sinai with the Ten mandments, he has decreed it is time his people return to places of worship. “We can’t allow this pandemic cause us to lose our faith,” Trump told The Lint Screen. “All Americans must return to their …

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